


human amongst stars

by 447AM



Category: Block B
Genre: A LIL EMO, Gen, but a happy ending, minhyuk pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 15:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6475564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/447AM/pseuds/447AM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minhyuk dances and tries to ignore his self doubts and the growing urge to leave everything behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	human amongst stars

It is already dark outside when they let themselves fall on the floor of the practice room.  
It’s been a while since they did this, dancing and singing for hours, all seven of them, but some things never change, no matter what, Minhyuk notices.  
'Light up a little Minhyuk.‘, Kyung says, poking into his sides with his elbow, smiling. As always.  
'You’ve been quiet the past couple weeks, what’s wrong?‘ Jihoon says concerned, looking out for his members well being. As always.  
Minhyuk just shakes his head with a soft, almost not there smile, saying everything was fine, that he was just tired. As always.  
What is he supposed to say anyways.  
'I wanna go on, I don’t like resting.‘  
'When we’re resting I start thinking too much.‘  
'When I think too much, I get sad.‘  
'I get sad because y’all are so much better than me at everything.‘  
'You are better and I feel like I’m dragging you down.‘  
'Maybe I should leave.‘

Sometimes he wonders why he’s still here.  
He just doesn’t feel like he had a right to be part of Block B sometimes, sometimes he feels like he just isn’t enough.  
They are said to be the band that proofed Idol actually have talent, yet he doesn’t think he truly lives up to that.  
He isn’t a musical genius that was constantly in the top 100 like Zico.  
He isn’t on a weekly variety show and had no song that got to the top of the charts without any promotion like Kyung.  
He isn’t in musicals and isn’t called a beauty like Jaehyo.  
He didn’t produce a play or has a mixtape like Jihoon.  
Ha didn’t have 6 years of vocal training like Taeil.  
And while he and Yukwon both shared the spot as the main dancers and sub vocals, have both been in the same drama, he still felt inferior to the other.  
It’s just that one can’t forget Yukwon, his captivating movements, his sharp eyes that turned into black lines when he’s smiling, a smile so beautiful and innocent Minhyuk is sure it could make flowers bloom.  
Meanwhile it is so easy to just ignore him as he is so simple and plain.  
Yukwon is the sun and the rest feel like the shining stars and the glowing moon and giant planets while Minhyuk is a small human, looking up to the universe, feeling dull and insignificant.

Jiho is picking on Kyung once again and everyone laughs, and they go back to the past, their debut and their first show.  
They talk about that one time Kyung revealed Jihos ex-girlfriend on Television or how Jihoon didn’t know what betrayal meant.  
Minhyuk remembers the book he brought to the hide out back then, 'Ordinary Existence‘.  
They said it fit him perfectly as a joke, a fun running gag they could use, but looking at it now, years later, it seems like the bitter truth that Minhyuk just has to accept, day by day, every time he sees the others sing or rap or simply being themselves.  
Maybe he is missing something, maybe this isn’t what he’s supposed to be. Maybe he should just stop.

'Let’s practice for two more hours, alright?‘  
Their leader interrupted his thoughts and Minhyuk was thankful. He hated habit of overthinking sometimes.  
They get up again, hopefully for the last time today.  
Jiho looks concerned, worried. Their concert is in 3 days and he really wants it to be a great success, wants to leave the best possible impression after their absence for almost two years.  
They have to be perfect, which means spending too much time in a room filled with stuffy air and not enough time sleeping, breathing.

Some moan, some complain, Minhyuk doesn’t.  
He never minds practice, never minds going through the choreography for the twentieth time.

He hears the the first bars of ‚very good‘ and his body just reacts, moving without him having to think about it.  
He memorizes every move, every single part. He rehearsed the whole thing too many times, wanting every bit to be perfect. Right before Jihoons part he closes his eyes.  
He doesn’t need them, he knows what do.  
Right now, when the doubts and the uneasiness are about to take over, he just wants to get lost in the beat and not think, just letting his body move on its own. 

The time passes, songs change and the breath of his members gets heavier.  
Minhyuk rarely feels exhaustion while dancing. He does get the muscle pain the day after, feels his limps aching. But he never minds, in fact, he truly enjoys that feeling afterwards. It’s like a reward, proof of his hard work. This is something he really is amazing at, something he loves, something he would never give up.

'Okay, we’re almost done. MInhyuk, can you go on for one more song?‘ Jiho bends over, hands resting on his knees, trying to catch his breath.  
Minhyuk shrugs.  
'Sure.‘  
'I can’t believe you not dying right now, I almost passed out during Jackpot.‘ Jaehyo lays on his back, his arm covering his eyes, hair sticking to his face and his shirt soaked.  
'That’s because you’re lazy and never dance you nerd.‘ Taeil empties half of the water bottle in one go, his body covered in sweat.  
'I do that but right now I’m with the orange over there, I feel like dying. Gimme that.‘ Yukwon takes the bottle and drinks the rest before tossing it into the corner along with the rest of empty plastic bottles. They’ve been here since the early morning hours.  
'I feel fine, it’s okay. What song you’re talking about Jiho?‘  
'Eureka.‘ He says as turns on the music.

Minhyuk gets into his position. This song is different, he has only tried this a few times, his body doesn’t remember it yet. So he finds himself in the mirror that covers the entire wall, concentrating on nothing but his movements. He doesn’t want to disappoint his members right now or the fans in a few days.  
He needs to sing Zion T.’s lines for the concert as well, and it makes him incredibly nervous. He doesn’t have a strong voice, he’s afraid he’ll mess up. He doesn’t want to let anyone down.  
So he concentrates, eyes locked on his own reflection, his every move sharp and as precise as possible and he sings as loud and clear as he can. He doesn’t sing while dancing usually, not when he isn’t 100% sure he has perfected the choreography, but Minhyuk feels like he has to, he wants to give everything he got. Maybe he’s just trying to proof something to himself right now. 

 

The music stops and Minhyuk throws his head back, arms hanging down loosely. He’s gasping for air for the first time today. He really has to go through this again, alone, maybe he’ll just come here earlier tomorrow and practice alone before the other arrive.  
He wants this, needs this to be amazing, flawless and he isn’t quiet there yet and it bothers him, makes him feel restless. Something in him wants to ask Jiho if they can try again, maybe he’ll get it right, get it perfect, next time, maybe if he just -

'That was amazing!‘  
Minhyuk turns around, and his six members sit there, undeniably excited and impressed. 

'I can’t wait to see you on stage.‘  
'You sing Zion T.‘s part so well.’  
'How about you two release a new version? I bet everyone would love it.‘  
'If Minhyuk does a dance cover as well, definitely.‘  
'But then we’ll loose all our fans to him for sure.‘  
'Can’t blame them.‘

And they keep on talking about Minhyuk and look at him like he was the brightest star amongst them, and he smiles for real this time.  
Even if he wasn’t enough, they didn’t care, so maybe he shouldn’t either.  
Maybe this is the most right thing he could ever do.

**Author's Note:**

> can you believe this is the longest thing ive ever written wow .... also this isnt beta read so if you find any mistakes or suggestions please tell me here or on my [tumblr](http://hypyotized.tumblr.com/) !! I just have a lot of B Bomb feelings lately im sorry ;; 
> 
> (also have u seen him dance to eureka. i am saved, we all are. i am waiting for a minhyuk focus fancam so i can die)


End file.
